1
00:00:00,063 --> 00:00:03,570
- Come on, come on, come on! Let's see!
- Eh? Huh?
2
00:00:03,656 --> 00:00:04,859
Mm. I hate it.
3
00:00:04,968 --> 00:00:07,634
What?! I got this dress
during Paris Fashion Week.
4
00:00:07,719 --> 00:00:10,003
At an outlet mall
in Wisconsin, but still.
5
00:00:10,038 --> 00:00:12,155
I mean, you look hot,
but you're meeting Ben's ex.
6
00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:14,057
Is hot really the look
you want to be going for?
7
00:00:14,142 --> 00:00:15,391
Don't make a big deal here.
8
00:00:15,460 --> 00:00:18,178
This is their whole story...
bad marriage, great divorce.
9
00:00:18,230 --> 00:00:20,129
- Which shoe?
- Wedge. More casual.
10
00:00:20,215 --> 00:00:21,731
I like the heel.
11
00:00:21,816 --> 00:00:24,551
Listen, I know Ben says
things are good between them,
12
00:00:24,636 --> 00:00:25,985
but now you're here.
13
00:00:26,037 --> 00:00:28,755
A great divorce is a fragile ecosystem.
14
00:00:28,790 --> 00:00:30,590
You might upset the whole equilibrium.
15
00:00:30,625 --> 00:00:32,091
I'm not gonna upset anything.
16
00:00:32,177 --> 00:00:34,542
And Ben says Renee's
actually excited to meet me.
17
00:00:34,714 --> 00:00:36,647
- The longer one.
- Eh.
18
00:00:36,733 --> 00:00:38,332
Why are you even asking me?
19
00:00:38,368 --> 00:00:41,119
Look, Renee is saying
she's excited to meet you,
20
00:00:41,204 --> 00:00:42,837
but that's ex-wife talk for
21
00:00:42,922 --> 00:00:44,622
"I'm clocking your every move, chippy."
22
00:00:44,893 --> 00:00:47,011
Mary, your only point of reference
is my parents' divorce,
23
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,780
which was a multi-decade scream-a-thon.
24
00:00:48,865 --> 00:00:50,982
Punctuated by one non-lethal stabbing.
25
00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:52,283
Yeah, that was a weird Easter.
26
00:00:52,369 --> 00:00:54,268
My point is, Ben and Renee
are not like my parents.
27
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:55,436
For now, they aren't.
28
00:00:55,488 --> 00:00:57,505
Now, if you really want to help...
29
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,107
- The... clutch?
- That's what I was thinking.
30
00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:00,591
Thank God, 'cause for a second there,
31
00:01:00,677 --> 00:01:03,311
I was like, "Um,
whose brain am I even from?"
32
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:04,112
Whoa!
33
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:05,413
Have a good night,
34
00:01:05,448 --> 00:01:07,331
I can't believe you jacketed me again!
35
00:01:07,417 --> 00:01:08,616
Do I hear you leaving right now?
36
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:09,784
Hey! Ohh!
37
00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:10,941
Mary: This is Alice.
38
00:01:10,966 --> 00:01:13,671
When she was a kid, she
dreamed up me to be her BFF.
39
00:01:13,757 --> 00:01:16,040
Now my girl has finally fallen in love,
40
00:01:16,126 --> 00:01:18,710
but she's in way over her head,
so I'm back to help.
41
00:01:18,795 --> 00:01:20,678
I've got this all figured out.
42
00:01:20,764 --> 00:01:22,130
- No, you don't.
- No, I don't.
43
00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:23,798
Synced and corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
44
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:25,883
Come on, guys.
I want to show you my cubby.
45
00:01:25,969 --> 00:01:27,435
And Shana's cubby.
46
00:01:27,470 --> 00:01:30,605
And the closet where Ms. Joree smokes.
47
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:32,640
Hey, so, um, I'm gonna need
a sick day tomorrow.
48
00:01:32,692 --> 00:01:34,392
- Is that cool?
- No problem. What kind of symptoms?
49
00:01:34,477 --> 00:01:36,611
Well, I was thinking,
like, a cough or a sore throat.
50
00:01:36,646 --> 00:01:38,112
Maybe sprinkle in some headache.
51
00:01:38,148 --> 00:01:40,815
- Is spine pain too much?
- Yeah, probably.
52
00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:41,983
You know what? I got you covered.
53
00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:43,484
I still owe you big for helping me
54
00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:45,119
get three days off with fake rubella.
55
00:01:45,155 --> 00:01:46,988
Yeah. You do.
56
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,489
Babe?
57
00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:50,992
I just want to make sure,
whatever happens in there...
58
00:01:51,077 --> 00:01:54,162
Ben, don't worry. I'm gonna make
a great impression on Renee.
59
00:01:54,247 --> 00:01:56,047
I was gonna say don't snack
too hard on the cookies,
60
00:01:56,132 --> 00:01:58,382
'cause I want to go out
for dinner after.
61
00:01:58,468 --> 00:02:01,052
I'm craving Jamaican. You?
And the Renee thing?
62
00:02:01,137 --> 00:02:02,503
Pfft. Yeah, we're good.
63
00:02:07,510 --> 00:02:08,726
Ah!
64
00:02:08,812 --> 00:02:10,595
- Oh...
- [Laughs]
65
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:11,679
[Laughs] It's a gesture.
66
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:13,848
No, I was just saying... Renee.
67
00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:16,350
You must be Alice. It is so nice
to finally meet you.
68
00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:17,685
You too.
69
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:20,154
Can I just say, as a child
of a horrible divorce,
70
00:02:20,190 --> 00:02:22,824
what you and Ben have done
is just awesome.
71
00:02:22,859 --> 00:02:24,408
Thanks, Alice. That's nice of you.
72
00:02:24,494 --> 00:02:25,993
We do it all for the kids.
73
00:02:26,029 --> 00:02:28,863
And for the kids, you should.
I wish my parents did that.
74
00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:31,666
Their split made for
an epic "Family Feud."
75
00:02:31,701 --> 00:02:33,367
My mom pulled a sword on my dad
76
00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:35,203
when we were contestants on the show.
77
00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:36,921
But she turned out normal.
78
00:02:37,006 --> 00:02:38,256
Totally normal!
79
00:02:38,377 --> 00:02:40,946
FYI... you've already made,
like, six mistakes.
80
00:02:40,971 --> 00:02:42,844
- [Coughing]
- Andy, are you okay?
81
00:02:42,879 --> 00:02:45,046
You've been coughing a lot today.
82
00:02:45,131 --> 00:02:48,243
Are you coming down with
something, brother man?
83
00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:49,717
Maybe you are coming down
with something.
84
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,886
Why don't you go grab a Luden's
from the car.
85
00:02:54,390 --> 00:02:57,558
- So, uh...
- Behold the drawing I made!
86
00:02:57,610 --> 00:02:59,477
Wow!
87
00:02:59,562 --> 00:03:02,063
Are those women setting a table,
like Mommy taught you?
88
00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:04,816
Nope. They're flipping it over,
like Alice taught me.
89
00:03:04,901 --> 00:03:06,567
- Me?!
- Excuse me?
90
00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:09,437
It's from our favorite TV show,
"The Real Homewives."
91
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:11,088
She means "The Real Housewives."
92
00:03:11,174 --> 00:03:13,608
Oh! She probably just walked in
once when Alice was watching.
93
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:14,876
Oh, yeah.
94
00:03:14,911 --> 00:03:16,811
That... That's tot...
just what he just said.
95
00:03:16,846 --> 00:03:19,413
- Every Sunday at 8:00!
- Is it? Every Sunday?
96
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,833
Oh, I-I'm sure it goes
right over Bunny's head.
97
00:03:21,918 --> 00:03:23,251
That's a bowl of pills.
98
00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:25,436
The lady on the ground took too many.
99
00:03:25,522 --> 00:03:26,838
[Hushed] What a little sponge.
100
00:03:26,923 --> 00:03:28,389
Yep, Bunny's pretty perceptive.
101
00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:30,825
And we will adjust
our TV-watching accordingly.
102
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,260
Good idea. Come on, Bunny.
103
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:34,278
Let's go look at some
of your other artwork.
104
00:03:34,364 --> 00:03:35,880
- Nice to meet you.
- Uh-huh.
105
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,231
And there it was...
106
00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:39,500
the first official disruption
in their ecosystem.
107
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:42,103
What's that old saying, "You get
as many tries as you like
108
00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:44,338
to make a good first impression"?
109
00:03:44,374 --> 00:03:46,424
110
00:03:49,012 --> 00:03:51,112
What the hell are you doing, Dora?
111
00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:54,315
- I'm faking sick today, remember?
- Yeah, but you didn't tell me why.
112
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,716
The mile run.
113
00:03:55,752 --> 00:03:58,519
Lauren texted me to remind me
to fake get my period.
114
00:03:58,605 --> 00:04:00,454
Unfortunately, I fake got
my period two weeks ago
115
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:01,806
to get out of ultimate Frisbee.
116
00:04:01,891 --> 00:04:04,025
So I'm sick today, too. Capiche?
117
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:07,311
No! No! No capiche!
No, that completely breaks protocol.
118
00:04:07,397 --> 00:04:09,013
W-We can't be sick on the same day.
119
00:04:09,098 --> 00:04:11,749
- It raises suspicion.
- Who cares about protocol?
120
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:14,619
Bottom line... Dora doesn't run.
121
00:04:14,704 --> 00:04:16,754
Please. I can't do the mile.
122
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,740
Last year, it was the single
most humiliating experience
123
00:04:19,792 --> 00:04:21,342
of my entire life.
124
00:04:21,377 --> 00:04:23,144
I finished dead last,
behind all the boys.
125
00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,161
Wow, that is pretty...
126
00:04:24,247 --> 00:04:25,696
- And all the girls.
- Yikes.
127
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:28,115
Even behind Merv,
the 80-year-old sophomore.
128
00:04:28,151 --> 00:04:31,035
Okay, look, I think we can both get away
129
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,820
- with faking sick.
- You do?
130
00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:34,121
Dad is fully distracted
131
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:35,773
with the whole Alice-meeting-Mom thing.
132
00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:37,174
[Snaps fingers]
133
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:39,760
We can exploit his weakness
and use it for our own gain.
134
00:04:39,796 --> 00:04:41,562
Which is what my friends say
is the whole point
135
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:42,863
of even having divorced parents.
136
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:44,865
Hey, come on.
137
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,585
We can get away with one day
of double fake sickness.
138
00:04:47,670 --> 00:04:48,552
One day?
139
00:04:51,774 --> 00:04:52,924
All right, I'm in.
140
00:04:53,009 --> 00:04:54,809
141
00:04:57,180 --> 00:04:58,262
One more.
142
00:05:14,864 --> 00:05:16,797
[Timer ticking]
143
00:05:16,849 --> 00:05:18,182
[Timer dings]
144
00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:21,469
Ben: You both have 101...
145
00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:24,005
too high to go to school,
too low to see the doctor.
146
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:25,840
[Both coughing]
147
00:05:25,925 --> 00:05:27,275
Okay. I'll give you today.
148
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,810
But we will seriously reassess tomorrow.
149
00:05:31,781 --> 00:05:33,080
He seemed suspicious.
150
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,348
Doesn't matter.
151
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,917
We got today. That's all we need.
152
00:05:36,953 --> 00:05:39,053
We don't have to run the mile.
153
00:05:39,138 --> 00:05:41,289
Yeah, lap someone else this year, Merv.
154
00:05:41,324 --> 00:05:42,356
Told you.
155
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:44,442
Having divorced parents is the best!
156
00:05:44,527 --> 00:05:47,428
157
00:05:47,463 --> 00:05:49,347
[Cellphone buzzes]
158
00:05:50,867 --> 00:05:53,100
Oh, boy. Here we go.
159
00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:54,785
Renee's saying she wants to have a talk.
160
00:05:54,871 --> 00:05:56,637
Oh, no. Is this because of me?
161
00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:58,539
Is she still mad about the "Housewives"?
162
00:05:58,574 --> 00:06:00,324
She's referring to it
as "Housewife-Gate,"
163
00:06:00,410 --> 00:06:02,610
so I'd say... yeah?
164
00:06:02,645 --> 00:06:04,245
I need to nip this in the bud.
165
00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:06,047
Let me go with you and apologize.
166
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:07,281
You really don't have to.
167
00:06:07,317 --> 00:06:08,616
No, but I want to... for you.
168
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:10,051
And a little bit for me.
169
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,218
Okay, a lot for me.
170
00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:13,120
- But still definitely for you.
- Okay.
171
00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:14,889
It'll be Apologize-Gate.
172
00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:16,674
Aww.
173
00:06:16,759 --> 00:06:18,726
- Can't wait to tell Renee that.
- [Laughs]
174
00:06:18,761 --> 00:06:21,195
I mean, if morning me
would've told afternoon me
175
00:06:21,264 --> 00:06:24,732
that he'd have watched 12
episodes of "Buffy" by 2:00 p.m.,
176
00:06:24,767 --> 00:06:27,335
I would've said, "Get directly
out of town, you jag!"
177
00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:29,103
Told you. This show's for real.
178
00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:30,454
You know what else is for real?
179
00:06:30,540 --> 00:06:32,556
This whole double fake sick day.
180
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,075
I mean, when else do we get
181
00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:35,710
to just, like, hang out, you and me?
182
00:06:35,745 --> 00:06:37,044
Yeah, yeah. Totally.
183
00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:38,179
One day of RandR
184
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,448
while everyone else runs an entire mile.
185
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:41,882
Poor saps.
186
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:44,535
And we'll be back at school
tomorrow before Dad catches on.
187
00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:46,202
- It's the perfect crime.
- Yeah, perfect.
188
00:06:46,227 --> 00:06:48,356
Um, "Buffy's" starting back up again,
189
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,841
so maybe just, like,
jot this down in the Moleskine?
190
00:06:50,927 --> 00:06:54,412
Consider it... skine'd.
191
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:55,796
- [Cellphone chimes]
- Okay.
192
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,282
And, plus, look at it.
193
00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,067
Can you imagine running in this rain?
194
00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:02,970
- Yeah.
- [Sighs]
195
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,321
It's hard to imagine, actually.
196
00:07:05,575 --> 00:07:07,475
- [Chuckles] Those poor suckers.
- _
197
00:07:07,517 --> 00:07:08,495
Hey, Dora.
198
00:07:08,519 --> 00:07:11,282
_
199
00:07:11,307 --> 00:07:12,763
Yeah?
200
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,082
You, uh, you okay?
201
00:07:15,118 --> 00:07:17,251
Actually... [Chuckles]
202
00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:19,904
I know this is crazy, but, um,
203
00:07:19,989 --> 00:07:21,806
I think I'm really getting sick.
204
00:07:21,891 --> 00:07:23,724
For real?
205
00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:25,743
[Groans] Talk about karma.
206
00:07:25,828 --> 00:07:27,328
You poor thing!
207
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,096
You pretend to be sick,
and what happens?
208
00:07:29,132 --> 00:07:31,866
You fall head over heels for
a young Sarah Michelle Gellar.
209
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:35,436
Yeah, and in my case, you get sick.
210
00:07:35,471 --> 00:07:37,738
Well, hey, uh,
let me heat you up some soup.
211
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,307
Yeah. Thanks. That'd be great.
212
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:41,575
You'd do the same for me.
213
00:07:41,611 --> 00:07:44,595
214
00:07:47,417 --> 00:07:48,616
Hey.
215
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,869
Oh. Hey. Alice.
216
00:07:51,954 --> 00:07:53,687
Renee, I know you didn't ask
to talk to me,
217
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,656
but I just wanted to come and apologize.
218
00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:59,093
And I promise I won't let Bunny
watch that TV show ever again.
219
00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:00,845
You mean the one
where the intoxicated women
220
00:08:00,930 --> 00:08:02,913
get plastic surgery
to the point of being deformed?
221
00:08:02,999 --> 00:08:04,882
Yeah. That one.
222
00:08:04,967 --> 00:08:06,250
See? All good.
223
00:08:06,335 --> 00:08:07,919
No need to make a mountain
out of a molehill here.
224
00:08:07,944 --> 00:08:09,136
What should I make out of it?
225
00:08:09,172 --> 00:08:11,839
You don't make anything out of it.
You keep it as a molehill.
226
00:08:11,891 --> 00:08:13,674
I'd love to do that,
but I have to be honest...
227
00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:15,643
I'm a little worried about
how she's influencing our kids.
228
00:08:15,678 --> 00:08:16,811
No offense, Alice.
229
00:08:16,846 --> 00:08:18,813
Some taken, but I hear you.
230
00:08:18,848 --> 00:08:20,231
Oh, I will cut a bitch!
231
00:08:20,316 --> 00:08:22,516
Alice is definitely
influencing our kids,
232
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,685
but in the best possible way.
233
00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:26,270
You got to look at the whole picture.
234
00:08:26,355 --> 00:08:28,022
You mean a picture like this, Ben?
235
00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:30,491
You didn't have to hang it.
236
00:08:30,526 --> 00:08:31,859
Or the pictures on Alice's Instagram,
237
00:08:31,944 --> 00:08:35,079
70% of which feature her
holding a cocktail. [Chuckles]
238
00:08:35,164 --> 00:08:36,580
What are you, a martini model?
239
00:08:36,666 --> 00:08:38,866
[Laughing] I wish.
240
00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:41,168
No, I... Uh, no, I...
241
00:08:41,204 --> 00:08:42,620
[Gasps] She thinks you're a lush
242
00:08:42,705 --> 00:08:44,205
and a dum-dum who's tainting her kids!
243
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:45,840
Social media is for her work.
244
00:08:45,875 --> 00:08:47,541
It doesn't reflect
what she does with the kids.
245
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,043
What do you do with them?
246
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:52,046
What do I do? I do... I do...
things, lots of things.
247
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:53,547
- [Gasps] I know! I know.
- Things...
248
00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:55,716
Scan the room and say
whatever pops into your head.
249
00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:57,968
Plants.
250
00:08:58,054 --> 00:08:59,553
- I do plants.
- Gardening?
251
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:00,721
All day, every day.
252
00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:03,440
That's more of an expression
to indicate her level of enthusiasm.
253
00:09:03,526 --> 00:09:05,726
- 24/7.
- Again, just a figure of speech.
254
00:09:05,778 --> 00:09:07,228
Time to double down! Full throttle!
255
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,729
In fact, I'm taking Bunny to help
256
00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:10,981
at my local community garden tomorrow.
257
00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:12,900
Huh? I thought you were gonna
say something else.
258
00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:15,452
You know what? I would love
to see Bunny garden.
259
00:09:15,538 --> 00:09:16,787
Can I tag along?
260
00:09:16,873 --> 00:09:17,872
- Well...
- Oh!
261
00:09:17,907 --> 00:09:19,490
It would be great to just, you know,
262
00:09:19,575 --> 00:09:21,075
smooth things over and start again.
263
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,577
[Groans] Now you got to
say yes. Just do it.
264
00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:25,913
Yes. Smooth we shall.
265
00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:28,215
Smooth as the dirt
we will be planting seeds in
266
00:09:28,251 --> 00:09:30,584
and o-on and over and around and...
267
00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,219
Is that how it works? [Chuckles]
268
00:09:32,255 --> 00:09:33,637
You'll see.
269
00:09:33,723 --> 00:09:36,090
Uh... We'll text you the details later
270
00:09:36,175 --> 00:09:37,758
to the, uh, the garden.
271
00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:39,705
- Thank you. See you.
- Careful.
272
00:09:44,567 --> 00:09:46,582
- Feeling better, bud?
- Yeah, all good.
273
00:09:46,645 --> 00:09:48,970
Must've been one of those 24-hour guys.
274
00:09:49,038 --> 00:09:50,505
What are you wearing?
275
00:09:50,540 --> 00:09:53,224
Oh. I'm taking Bunny gardening
with your mother and Alice.
276
00:09:53,309 --> 00:09:54,609
- Don't ask.
- I got to ask,
277
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,844
because that hat is a real head-turner.
278
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,035
Do you mind if I get one, too?
279
00:09:58,060 --> 00:10:00,498
How about this? You can have
this one at the end of the day.
280
00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:02,097
Anyway, bring your running shoes.
281
00:10:02,122 --> 00:10:04,268
I got an e-mail saying that the
mile was rescheduled for today.
282
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,486
No!
283
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:06,417
...problem.
284
00:10:06,597 --> 00:10:08,964
That is not an issue for me in any way.
285
00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:11,049
- Thank you very kindly.
- Okay.
286
00:10:11,085 --> 00:10:12,851
Oh, and can you check on your sister?
287
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,419
She's still pretty sick... super clammy,
288
00:10:14,505 --> 00:10:15,787
big, dark circles under her eyes.
289
00:10:15,873 --> 00:10:17,222
She's gone through, like,
three boxes of Kleenex.
290
00:10:17,258 --> 00:10:20,626
So Dora will be home sick
while I do the mile run?
291
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:22,177
This has all been established.
292
00:10:22,263 --> 00:10:24,980
I got to bounce, but if you want
to keep talking about it,
293
00:10:25,065 --> 00:10:26,982
just drop it into your Moleskine.
294
00:10:27,067 --> 00:10:28,433
Love you.
295
00:10:28,469 --> 00:10:30,435
296
00:10:35,759 --> 00:10:37,142
Whoa!
297
00:10:37,227 --> 00:10:39,578
Way to barge in, bro.
298
00:10:39,630 --> 00:10:40,912
I just got the worst news...
299
00:10:40,965 --> 00:10:42,814
the mile run was rescheduled for today
300
00:10:42,866 --> 00:10:44,700
on account of
yesterday's gorgeous drencher.
301
00:10:44,785 --> 00:10:46,385
So, not to make light
of your serious illness,
302
00:10:46,420 --> 00:10:48,603
but you are so lucky
you're actually sick.
303
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,989
Yeah. Messed up from the chest up.
304
00:10:51,075 --> 00:10:53,041
'Cause me...
I am staring down the barrel
305
00:10:53,127 --> 00:10:55,727
of untold ridicule and
physical torture, most likely.
306
00:10:55,813 --> 00:10:58,964
I'm talkin' headlocks,
noogies, pantsing,
307
00:10:59,016 --> 00:11:02,317
Indian burns, purple nurples,
wet willies, swirlies,
308
00:11:02,403 --> 00:11:05,213
towel snaps, wedgies,
both standard and atomic.
309
00:11:05,259 --> 00:11:07,439
- Isn't that sad?
- I'm sure you'll be fine.
310
00:11:07,474 --> 00:11:08,440
Shh.
311
00:11:08,492 --> 00:11:09,624
[Ticking]
312
00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:11,009
What's that sound?
313
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,562
I don't... [Chuckles]
I don't hear anything.
314
00:11:13,647 --> 00:11:14,746
[Ticking continues]
315
00:11:15,749 --> 00:11:17,973
Wow. Just... wow.
316
00:11:18,028 --> 00:11:20,535
You knew the mile run
was rescheduled for today,
317
00:11:20,621 --> 00:11:22,337
but then you faked a second day
to get out of it!
318
00:11:22,423 --> 00:11:23,889
- We couldn't both get away with it.
- Hah!
319
00:11:23,924 --> 00:11:26,358
So you chose yourself, like
always, and double-crossed me?
320
00:11:26,410 --> 00:11:28,026
Yeah, okay. I did.
321
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:31,463
But I really think you'd be
better off facing your fears.
322
00:11:31,515 --> 00:11:34,166
Plus, Merv's been awarded
a state-funded caregiver,
323
00:11:34,201 --> 00:11:36,501
so I sincerely doubt he'll beat you.
324
00:11:36,553 --> 00:11:38,186
You know what the worst part is?
325
00:11:38,272 --> 00:11:40,272
I thought we were
actually bonding yesterday.
326
00:11:40,357 --> 00:11:41,347
- [Groans]
- But now...
327
00:11:41,371 --> 00:11:45,410
it looks like there are several passages
I need to white out of my Moleskine.
328
00:11:46,230 --> 00:11:48,497
[Timer dings]
329
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:49,581
[Sighs]
330
00:11:49,633 --> 00:11:50,966
331
00:11:51,051 --> 00:11:53,051
Okay, we get in, drop some seeds,
332
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:54,820
dig some stuff,
maybe some light pruning.
333
00:11:54,855 --> 00:11:56,772
Then we ask Renee
to take Bunny for lunch.
334
00:11:56,857 --> 00:11:57,923
Done.
335
00:11:57,958 --> 00:11:59,007
Fun!
336
00:11:59,146 --> 00:12:01,529
Dirt is where all life begins and ends.
337
00:12:01,622 --> 00:12:04,059
- Yep! Sure does.
- How can I help you?
338
00:12:04,129 --> 00:12:06,017
- We'd like one plot, please.
- Absolutely.
339
00:12:06,052 --> 00:12:08,686
I just need your name and number.
340
00:12:08,772 --> 00:12:10,672
You're now the proud owner of...
341
00:12:10,757 --> 00:12:12,757
your very own spot on the waiting list.
342
00:12:12,809 --> 00:12:15,243
We'll call you
in no sooner than 15 years,
343
00:12:15,328 --> 00:12:16,544
when a plot becomes available.
344
00:12:16,630 --> 00:12:18,296
Cool! I'll be 21 then!
345
00:12:18,381 --> 00:12:20,265
Goodbye for 1 1/2 decades.
346
00:12:20,350 --> 00:12:21,433
- Wait... Wait...
- No...
347
00:12:21,518 --> 00:12:23,168
That was a weird way of putting it.
348
00:12:23,203 --> 00:12:24,536
Oh... Oh, God. Here she comes.
349
00:12:24,621 --> 00:12:25,837
We're screwed.
350
00:12:25,872 --> 00:12:26,971
Okay, I have an idea.
351
00:12:27,023 --> 00:12:28,823
Take the shears, ram them into my thigh.
352
00:12:28,909 --> 00:12:30,942
If gardening is what is
gonna keep things smooth,
353
00:12:31,027 --> 00:12:32,427
then we are darn gardening.
354
00:12:32,512 --> 00:12:33,655
- Come on, Bunny!
- What are you doing?
355
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:36,281
[Hushed] No! This is a bad idea!
356
00:12:36,316 --> 00:12:38,299
357
00:12:45,992 --> 00:12:47,425
Andy: "Sick day.
358
00:12:47,477 --> 00:12:49,344
More like "best day."
359
00:12:49,429 --> 00:12:51,329
For today, Dora and I
crossed the threshold
360
00:12:51,364 --> 00:12:53,798
from simply being brother
and sister to being friends.
361
00:12:53,884 --> 00:12:56,784
I'll always have her back,
and she'll always have mine.
362
00:12:56,870 --> 00:12:58,620
And now some obscene thoughts
about Sarah Michelle Gellar."
363
00:12:59,923 --> 00:13:01,856
364
00:13:06,446 --> 00:13:07,428
Is this our garden?
365
00:13:07,514 --> 00:13:09,380
Is now. Go nuts, Bun.
366
00:13:09,432 --> 00:13:11,850
Ben: Oh, hey, Renee. Glad you could
make it to our humble community garden.
367
00:13:11,885 --> 00:13:13,601
Look, Mommy! I'm a gardener!
368
00:13:13,687 --> 00:13:15,954
Like the guys you scream at in our yard!
369
00:13:16,006 --> 00:13:17,121
Well... [Chuckles]
370
00:13:17,174 --> 00:13:18,556
Isn't this just about
371
00:13:18,592 --> 00:13:20,378
the cutest thing
I've ever seen in my life.
372
00:13:20,402 --> 00:13:21,493
[Chuckles] Isn't it?
373
00:13:21,528 --> 00:13:23,995
Alice, from the looks of this,
you have quite the green thumb.
374
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,381
- Thank you.
- How long have you had this plot?
375
00:13:26,466 --> 00:13:28,875
Uh... gosh, a while now.
376
00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:30,260
When was Y2K, again?
377
00:13:30,370 --> 00:13:31,402
[Chuckles]
378
00:13:31,454 --> 00:13:33,221
So, tell me about what's growing.
379
00:13:33,306 --> 00:13:35,974
Oh... man. There's so much growing.
380
00:13:36,009 --> 00:13:37,825
Uh, right off the bat?
381
00:13:37,911 --> 00:13:39,060
Herbs.
382
00:13:39,129 --> 00:13:41,262
And some bush varietals.
383
00:13:41,348 --> 00:13:42,380
Flowers.
384
00:13:42,432 --> 00:13:44,599
Cabbage. That glass thing was a gift.
385
00:13:44,684 --> 00:13:46,234
- That was from me.
- Come join us.
386
00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:48,620
Put some of the protective
thingies on your hands.
387
00:13:48,672 --> 00:13:50,505
- Gloves? [Chuckles]
- Sure.
388
00:13:50,590 --> 00:13:52,390
Excuse me.
389
00:13:52,425 --> 00:13:54,225
What are you doing in our garden?
390
00:13:54,261 --> 00:13:55,894
I'm sorry. You must be confused.
391
00:13:55,929 --> 00:13:57,729
This is definitely my garden.
392
00:13:58,598 --> 00:14:00,932
"Stan and Millie's garden."
393
00:14:00,984 --> 00:14:03,935
Well, isn't that... indisputable.
394
00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:05,737
395
00:14:08,518 --> 00:14:10,885
Oh, look! A butterfly!
396
00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:14,709
Okay, I was a little concerned before,
397
00:14:14,796 --> 00:14:16,229
but now that you're pretending
to garden,
398
00:14:16,342 --> 00:14:17,452
I'm really concerned.
399
00:14:17,554 --> 00:14:20,489
Yes, what we have here is a
classic case of overcorrection.
400
00:14:20,541 --> 00:14:22,424
It comes from a very good place.
401
00:14:22,459 --> 00:14:24,026
Alice, this is actually gonna be between
402
00:14:24,061 --> 00:14:25,360
me and Ben this time.
403
00:14:25,412 --> 00:14:26,962
- Of course.
- To be clear, Ben,
404
00:14:27,014 --> 00:14:29,572
when I said I was concerned,
I meant about our children.
405
00:14:29,597 --> 00:14:30,499
What's even going...
406
00:14:30,534 --> 00:14:32,668
- Hey, sweetie!
- Oh! Go get that butterfly!
407
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:33,935
...on in your house?
408
00:14:33,987 --> 00:14:36,204
Do you even know?
What kind of influence is she?
409
00:14:36,290 --> 00:14:38,874
A great one... on all of us.
410
00:14:38,942 --> 00:14:41,672
I know you guys aren't my parents,
but I'm just gonna take these shears.
411
00:14:41,751 --> 00:14:43,585
You never know
when things could get stabby.
412
00:14:43,652 --> 00:14:45,068
Andy's more confident,
413
00:14:45,137 --> 00:14:46,904
Dora's starting to open up
a little bit more.
414
00:14:46,989 --> 00:14:48,789
Alice, what's that thing
that Dora told you about?
415
00:14:48,874 --> 00:14:49,807
Don't!
416
00:14:49,892 --> 00:14:52,376
- I don't think...
- It's okay. Come on.
417
00:14:52,411 --> 00:14:54,228
There's this boy she likes.
418
00:14:54,313 --> 00:14:56,480
Who? I haven't heard about this.
419
00:14:56,565 --> 00:14:57,915
There was this party.
420
00:14:57,950 --> 00:15:00,517
Maybe an "over the pants" situation.
421
00:15:00,569 --> 00:15:03,203
You know what? Now is not
the time, I'm pretty sure.
422
00:15:03,289 --> 00:15:05,172
Another thing I'm hearing about
for the first time.
423
00:15:05,257 --> 00:15:08,358
So Dora's telling her secrets
to this woman? Great.
424
00:15:08,410 --> 00:15:09,493
- Renee...
- You know,
425
00:15:09,545 --> 00:15:11,478
I came here to try
to get to know this person
426
00:15:11,564 --> 00:15:13,447
who's spending all this time
around our kids,
427
00:15:13,532 --> 00:15:15,749
and guess what... I did.
428
00:15:15,835 --> 00:15:16,884
Well, can you just hear me out?
429
00:15:16,969 --> 00:15:19,169
No! It's always just excuses with you.
430
00:15:19,205 --> 00:15:21,672
This is Gary and David's wedding
all over again.
431
00:15:21,707 --> 00:15:22,840
I had to work!
432
00:15:22,925 --> 00:15:24,308
It's not like I disapproved.
433
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:25,642
Who can fly to Palm Springs
434
00:15:25,728 --> 00:15:27,661
for a 9:00 a.m. wedding on a Wednesday?!
435
00:15:27,730 --> 00:15:29,646
I think some old stuff
might be coming out.
436
00:15:29,682 --> 00:15:31,782
Okay. I'm done.
437
00:15:31,834 --> 00:15:33,534
438
00:15:45,180 --> 00:15:47,497
What's up, Andy?
You gonna puke again this year?
439
00:15:47,583 --> 00:15:50,350
- Ha! Nope.
- [Chuckles]
440
00:15:50,436 --> 00:15:52,119
Thanks for stopping by.
441
00:15:52,204 --> 00:15:53,704
Wha...
442
00:15:53,756 --> 00:15:54,972
What are you doing here?
443
00:15:55,007 --> 00:15:58,775
So, I was thinking
about our conversation, and...
444
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:00,377
I don't want to be that sister sibling
445
00:16:00,429 --> 00:16:01,845
that only looks out for herself.
446
00:16:01,931 --> 00:16:04,648
- Yeah?
- It shouldn't be us against each other.
447
00:16:04,733 --> 00:16:06,500
It should be us against Mom and Dad.
448
00:16:06,585 --> 00:16:07,601
Oh, thank you.
449
00:16:07,686 --> 00:16:09,102
We did bond yesterday.
450
00:16:09,188 --> 00:16:10,821
And I-I would love to have
451
00:16:10,906 --> 00:16:12,506
more double-fake-sick days with you.
452
00:16:12,591 --> 00:16:14,758
Maybe even, like, a non-fake-sick day,
453
00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,109
where we just hang out together.
454
00:16:16,195 --> 00:16:17,494
Yeah?
455
00:16:17,529 --> 00:16:18,745
That'd be cool.
456
00:16:18,831 --> 00:16:20,931
And to show you how sorry I am...
457
00:16:21,016 --> 00:16:22,432
[Inhales deeply]
458
00:16:22,518 --> 00:16:24,918
...I'm gonna run with you and
make sure you don't finish last.
459
00:16:25,004 --> 00:16:26,553
Really?
460
00:16:26,639 --> 00:16:27,804
Yeah.
461
00:16:27,890 --> 00:16:30,624
Don't worry. I'll be
right behind you the whole time.
462
00:16:30,709 --> 00:16:33,193
Thanks, Dor.
463
00:16:33,262 --> 00:16:34,478
Let's do this.
464
00:16:34,563 --> 00:16:37,331
[Mustard Snorkel's "Loud" plays]
465
00:16:43,339 --> 00:16:45,722
Well, my friends are
bouncing off the walls
466
00:16:45,774 --> 00:16:48,158
'Cause their week
has seemed impossible
467
00:16:48,193 --> 00:16:50,294
So we need to meet up
and start the show
468
00:16:50,329 --> 00:16:53,313
No, we can't slow down,
it's time to go
469
00:16:53,399 --> 00:16:54,932
You hungry, Bun?
470
00:16:55,017 --> 00:16:58,702
- No, thanks. I just ate that butterfly.
- You ate that thing?
471
00:16:58,754 --> 00:17:01,388
Not good. Let's get some
real food in that tummy, huh?
472
00:17:01,473 --> 00:17:03,090
[Sighs]
473
00:17:03,158 --> 00:17:04,658
[Grunting]
474
00:17:04,743 --> 00:17:05,809
Yo.
475
00:17:05,844 --> 00:17:08,145
Today was another swing and a miss.
476
00:17:08,197 --> 00:17:10,631
Am I ever gonna make a good
first impression on Renee?
477
00:17:10,716 --> 00:17:13,233
Not if you keep faking hobbies
and corrupting her children.
478
00:17:13,302 --> 00:17:15,168
I kind of feel bad for her.
479
00:17:15,254 --> 00:17:17,688
She must think
Ben and I are out of control,
480
00:17:17,723 --> 00:17:20,240
which must be tough, considering
her kids are here half the time.
481
00:17:20,326 --> 00:17:22,225
Maybe Ben should hear that.
482
00:17:24,446 --> 00:17:26,396
483
00:17:26,482 --> 00:17:28,632
Say hey, hey, hey
484
00:17:28,684 --> 00:17:29,766
Turn it up loud
485
00:17:29,802 --> 00:17:31,485
It's never loud enough
486
00:17:31,553 --> 00:17:33,120
Say hey, hey, hey
487
00:17:33,205 --> 00:17:34,921
Turn it up loud
488
00:17:38,661 --> 00:17:40,744
Can't believe she brought up
Gary and David's wedding.
489
00:17:40,796 --> 00:17:42,193
- Okay, but, hon, the thing...
- But seriously,
490
00:17:42,217 --> 00:17:43,565
who throws a midweek
destination wedding?
491
00:17:43,565 --> 00:17:45,032
No room blocks of any kind.
492
00:17:45,117 --> 00:17:46,750
No rehearsal dinner for out-of-towners.
493
00:17:46,819 --> 00:17:48,435
Woo me just a little, you know?
494
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,320
Babe, Gary and David's wedding
sounds like a nightmare.
495
00:17:51,345 --> 00:17:53,457
You made the right choice.
But in the here and the now...
496
00:17:53,509 --> 00:17:54,725
- Hon?
- Hmm?
497
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,059
This is all on us.
498
00:17:56,111 --> 00:17:57,144
What?
499
00:17:58,831 --> 00:17:59,830
And turn it up loud
500
00:17:59,882 --> 00:18:02,082
People jumping off the roof
501
00:18:02,167 --> 00:18:03,400
Saying hey, hey, hey
502
00:18:03,435 --> 00:18:04,935
Turn it up loud
503
00:18:12,227 --> 00:18:14,661
You and I made the decision
to be in each other's lives.
504
00:18:14,747 --> 00:18:17,347
Renee didn't have a say. And here I am,
505
00:18:17,399 --> 00:18:19,499
spending all this time
with Andy, Bunny, and Dora.
506
00:18:19,585 --> 00:18:21,118
One day, she's gonna meet a guy,
507
00:18:21,203 --> 00:18:23,136
and he's gonna be
spending time with your kids,
508
00:18:23,222 --> 00:18:24,554
and you're gonna hear a story
509
00:18:24,623 --> 00:18:26,289
- about Andy getting to third base.
- I doubt it.
510
00:18:26,325 --> 00:18:29,843
Okay, some story about Andy...
or any of the kids...
511
00:18:29,928 --> 00:18:31,278
and you're gonna know how she feels.
512
00:18:31,363 --> 00:18:35,298
So I guess... I don't know...
just try to get there now.
513
00:18:35,334 --> 00:18:36,800
This is just new, you know?
514
00:18:36,835 --> 00:18:37,634
Yeah.
515
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,352
'Cause I'm here now.
516
00:18:39,438 --> 00:18:40,987
It's a major change.
517
00:18:41,073 --> 00:18:42,956
And turn it up loud
518
00:18:43,042 --> 00:18:44,591
Shake the floor and burn it up
519
00:18:44,676 --> 00:18:45,792
Say hey, hey, hey
520
00:18:45,878 --> 00:18:47,227
Turn it up loud
521
00:18:47,312 --> 00:18:49,246
Loud is never loud enough
522
00:18:49,281 --> 00:18:50,530
Say hey, hey, hey
523
00:18:50,616 --> 00:18:52,299
Turn it up loud
524
00:18:57,706 --> 00:18:59,840
Does this start
with me having to apologize?
525
00:18:59,925 --> 00:19:02,142
[Laughing] I think it does... alone.
526
00:19:02,227 --> 00:19:04,961
Just make sure she knows I'm the
one that helped you figure it out.
527
00:19:05,030 --> 00:19:06,604
I have some major ground to make up.
528
00:19:06,629 --> 00:19:09,230
- Oh, yeah. You're deep in the hole.
- I'm sensing that.
529
00:19:12,471 --> 00:19:14,321
Can I just say one other thing?
530
00:19:14,406 --> 00:19:16,369
Is it about Gary and David's wedding?
531
00:19:16,394 --> 00:19:18,144
You bet your ass it is!
532
00:19:18,179 --> 00:19:20,312
Cash bar. Bite me!
533
00:19:20,348 --> 00:19:22,515
Okay, first of all,
who even has a cash bar?
534
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,483
Say hey, hey, hey
535
00:19:24,519 --> 00:19:26,519
- [Groans]
-
Turn it up loud
536
00:19:26,604 --> 00:19:28,354
[Gasps] Victory!
537
00:19:28,406 --> 00:19:30,523
[Panting] Yeah. Yeah.
538
00:19:30,575 --> 00:19:32,074
Victory.
539
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,443
Thank you. I couldn't
have done it without you.
540
00:19:34,529 --> 00:19:36,078
No. No, thank you.
541
00:19:36,164 --> 00:19:38,414
You called me out when I needed...
542
00:19:38,499 --> 00:19:40,499
And turn it up loud
543
00:19:40,535 --> 00:19:41,750
And I'm out.
544
00:19:42,620 --> 00:19:45,337
Guys, guys, guys!
Who wants to see my new drawing?
545
00:19:45,362 --> 00:19:46,627
all: Yeah!
546
00:19:46,652 --> 00:19:48,585
It's called "Garden Party."
547
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,688
That's Mommy, that's Daddy,
548
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,256
and they're screaming at each other.
549
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:55,592
And that's Alice,
pretending not to notice.
550
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,361
I made it into your artwork.
551
00:19:58,264 --> 00:20:00,564
Oh, by the way... talked to Renee.
552
00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:01,465
All good?
553
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:02,800
Not all, but most.
554
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,201
Phew.
555
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:06,270
Oh, and I found this in my toy oven,
556
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,105
but I didn't put it there.
557
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,007
That's strange.
558
00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:11,175
I wonder how this got in...
559
00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:12,443
Wait.
560
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:13,911
You two were faking.
561
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:15,279
- Dad, it's not what you think.
- But we had a good reason.
562
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:16,947
- We had no other choice.
- Headlocks, noogies,
563
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,148
- At school that day...
- and purple nurples...
564
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:19,950
No, no, no! No, no, no!
I don't want to hear it.
565
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:23,287
Listen up, and let me be very clear!
566
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,055
Your mother can never find out
about this.
567
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:26,824
- Uh... yeah.
- Sure.
568
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:29,493
- Of course. Yeah, no problem. You know what?
- Obviously. Totally.
569
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:30,794
- You're awesome.
- I love you.
570
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:31,929
- You're the best.
- Thank you for dinner.
571
00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:34,431
- I get it. I get it. That's totally...
- Great shirt.
572
00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:36,200
You're such a cool dad.
573
00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:38,102
I'm doing the best I can.
574
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:39,670
[Hushed] The new system is working!
575
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:42,306
[Hushed] We might never
have to go to school again.
576
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:43,574
Heard that!
577
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,342
Go to your room.
578
00:20:45,366 --> 00:20:46,766